so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
