Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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