so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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