The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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