I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
