i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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