can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
