Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
