i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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