What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
