I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
