We're like a lot better than the average bears
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
