so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
