I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
