that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
