I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize