I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
