When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
