You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
