i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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