I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
