Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
