I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
