we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
