She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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