Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
