so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
