He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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