You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
