you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Randomize