Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In other news, I just burned my penis
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
