dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
