Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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