Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
