dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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