Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
