I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
