I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
