My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
