plz talk dirty to me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
