i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
