So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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