Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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