Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
In the future we'll all be gay
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you win again, gameday.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
