Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it glows. i had to have it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize