i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
