I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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