i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize