When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
