Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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