But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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