I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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