He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
