Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
