I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so let's talk penis.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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