ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
