YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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