i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
