I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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