The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
