shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize