Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
