I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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