is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i came on her dog
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
