I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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