Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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