I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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