Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
