Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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