They should really pass out barf bags in church
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
