thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
